feisty me

11 Apr

written while watching “the collection” on amazon (i am obsessed. fashion design + paris + beautiful garments + murder and intrigue)

hello! today i “graduated” from the program i have been in for the last four months. if you’re curious, here is a link to their page. the department of commerce supports this amazing program (hiring our heroes) which gives veterans leaving the service a chance to pad their resume with some real job experience and prepare us for our big transition (and has led to job offers and leads within my cohort)! i loved my time with amazon, and am feeling much more prepared for what comes next (even though it won’t be with amazon since i am headed to grad school).

IMG_0878 anyway, with this program finished, i have 23 days left in the army. time to get all of my stuff in order!

the other day, i was out with one of my friends who has recently joined my army unit. i’ve never before had a friend join whatever unit i am part of, which has allowed me the free reign to lead and act as i feel necessary at work without people hearing about me or hearing what other people have said about me. you know how people can talk – and in an army unit full of primarily men, i’ve sometimes wondered what people said about my leadership style and actions behind my back. not because i’ve done anything wrong, but because i think i act much differently than the status quo of male military man. i am passionate and loud and full of opinions, and i’ve learned over the years not to let a conflicting opinion stop my train.

anyway, he is working with a man who i once worked with, and our paths used to cross often. when i asked my friend what said man thought of me, he said he said “although we didn’t agree on everything, she certainly is feisty.

i’ll go with that. my legacy to the army will be my feisty actions. and yes, i will focus on the positive connotations of that word haha.


we are moving to tacoma (and six months i’ve forgotten)

5 Apr

hello everyone! so my favorite english/american bestie has officially started her blog (after being unable to due to studying for her law exams), and it has reminded me that i haven’t posted anything in six months.

biggest life point: we are moving to tacoma, washington in may! christopher will begin his journey as a doctor at madigan hospital in june. i am so proud of him! and i am SO EXCITED to move to the pacific north west (please see one of my many posts about how i am eager to leave the south). and also in may, i leave the army!

to fast forward through the months i have missed i will post just two photos from each month:


nov 1

the first important point of november 2016 was that i proudly cast my vote for hillary clinton is this solid red state of tennessee. i cast that vote as a very disillusioned american. to be honest, i also haven’t written much because i have felt so many intense emotions (mostly negative) about the election and i didn’t want to announce them here. needless to say: i am not happy. but i have been buoyed by the women’s march and the activists fighting for what is just and kind and i have began a journey towards helping our country in the small way i think i can handle. but more on that soon.
nov 2chris and i took our yearly photos for our new years card at my family’s home in virginia. it was beautiful and dad has some awesome photo ideas haha.


dec 1
daddy drove over to tennessee for a quick weekend to help me buy a new car! my jetta was affected by the vw diesel scandal – but my buy back gave me a hefty down payment on my new car. also, we spent christmas in houston with the wallaces, which was also great!
dec 2
for new years, our friends kristen, lisa, and becca came to stay with us for a couple of days of fun to ring in 2017! here is a photo of lisa and i before we went downtown. in exciting news, lisa is my brother’s girlfriend! (!!!) it’s awesome because she is a strong, independent woman who is also a veterinarian and also a super cool person and awesome and was became part of our lives because her and chris were friends in BOLC! and then my brother found out she liked the pixies too and the rest was history lol. talk about excellent small world situations.


jan 1
THIS IS THE MOST IMPORTANT PART OF THIS POST. last may, i bought chris and i tickets to see hamilton in new york city for my birthday in january. when i say “it was the most amazing experience of my life, i cried almost the whole time, and it even managed to exceeded my incredibly high expectations,” i mean it very honestly. we love new york city, and hamilton, and snow, and singing songs while walking down the streets. experiencing the musical in its whole form (not just audio like on the cast recording) was a magical situation. wow. i get chills just thinking about it.

jan 2
my baby brother came home!! he spent four-ish months in the middle east doing great things for his brigade and his country. i’m so proud of the high praise he received – but i am even more proud of him for being accepted to the army’s lawyer program! he will be beginning law school at UNC in the fall!! i am surrounded by geniuses!


feb 1
my favorite framily is pictured here via a hastily taken selfie at a four way intersection in atlanta. we all went to see christopher’s favorite band, AFI, and had a great time! i love spending time with these people – so much joy! my heart is already crying for all of our moves. we will live 2,907 apart – i just did the google search. :(

feb 2i was invited to interview at seattle pacific university for their clinical psychology phd program! it was my first time in seattle, and my first time interviewing for an academic program. i ended up being accepted (!), and although i rejected the offer, i absolutely loved the experience and faculty and THE CITY. the mountains and water and love and equality were palpable in all ways. i can’t wait to spend much more time in seattle (which is about 30 miles north of where we are moving).


mar 1
KITTY AND GREG GOT MARRIED IN CANCUN! chris and i took a mini vacation to spend a long weekend with some of our favorite people in the world. we had limitless drinks and food and sunshine. and also, kitty is my pff and i will follow her around the world forever and ever <3

mar 2
CADAVER BALL 2017!!! oh my goodness, world, chris is graduating medical school next month. i’ve loved all four (!) of the cadaver balls i have attended with chris as his girlfriend, then fiance, then wife – but this one was the most magical. i will miss these friends we have in nashville, but they are all going to soar to great medical/life heights.

and as for me, i have accepted my offer to attend the university of washington for their community planning masters program. one our way home from our christmas break in houston, i tried to imagine the perfect degree program for me. i wanted something that would teach me how to help the people of our country at the lowest level – at the community level – how to make their lives better and more healthy and for them to rise to great heights. so that one day i can work in local government, and then hopefully move my way up. and in an amazing turn of events, i found the program that would show me how to do that! and it was in the town we are moving to!

because if i have learned one thing this political season, it is that i am no longer going to sit by and let things happen. i want to help change this country to be more kind. i want to make people’s lives better. i want to advocate for all people, and for the equality of all.

“i am no longer accepting the things i can’t change. i am changing the things i can’t accept.” -angela y. davis


dear pat

10 Oct

dear pat,

this month marks three years since you were killed in afghanistan.

every october since i found out about your passing, back on october 15th 2012 while i was in uganda, i’ve taken the month to listen to green day and think about those easy days in carlisle, pennsylvania.

this year, in addition to the regular american idiot album rotation (you was the first boy to give me a cd, and in this case, it was the noted green day album, american idiot), i’ve also been listening to hamilton a lot. one song in particular.

this song makes me cry now. i think of you and what you would have done had you lived a longer life. what you would have done with more time. and if i will do enough with the time i have been allotted. i like to fantasize that if you had lived, i would have reached out at the end of your deployment, that i would have gotten the whole “white house crew” back together. but realistically that probably wouldn’t have happened. your death shook me. it propelled me to turn my head away from the army and look seriously towards somewhere else, anywhere else. it was your death that made me start researching psychology programs three and a half years before my commitment was up to the army.

i just know i need to make the most of the time i have here, for you, and for myself.

and as i’m wont to do, i took a look through some of my old journals. i also found some old aim conversations i printed off years ago and felt so much embarrassment for the diction and vocabulary of my ninth grade self. here’s my first journal entry of a new journal where i first wrote about you:

img_6404you can also see how i’ve always been a stage 9 clinger (sorry!)!
and here is baby me (at the end of the table) and you to my left. we’re both pirates at an excellently themed pirate party in 2004.

time is weird. death is also weird. we miss you.



our vacation to england and scotland!

7 Oct

dear world,

it’s me again! of all of the ridiculous things happening in 2016 (our presidential election, the continuation of police brutality among unarmed black men, the numerous accidental bombings on “good guys” in syria, the refugee crisis, hurricane matthew, global warming, etc) i still need to first post a few photos from christopher and i’s trip to england and scotland from the beginning of september! since chris and i returned from england, we’ve been nonstop, but i have had a desire to share a little about our trip – especially since i’m away from facebook and some of my friends/family have been asking.

we had a layover in iceland and it was the most gorgeous land i’d ever see. img_5772we had the best time learning about and utilizing all of the public transportation – especially in london. i bought a city map and tube map ahead of time, and we were never lost, and before we even left i ordered two oyster cards preloaded with pounds so we’d be good to go!img_5788
on our first full day in london we headed to the churchill war rooms, since christopher is obsessed with him. i entered without expecting much, and then came to realize that this is a very worthwhile museum! even if you aren’t into history or the like. it’s well organized and insightful and a great homage to a great man.img_5798
did my tourist due diligence by stopping by big ben and grabbing a flake :)img_5803img_5817
love how much my husband loves art. literally the best. img_5828one of the views from the sky garden:img_5834img_5839after a couple of days in london, we headed to kings cross station for our train ride to edinburgh! (and to stop for a photo op with platform 9 and 3/4!)img_5851img_5864img_5865i had chris stop for a photo op on our straight up hill journey to our air bnb in beautiful edinburgh!img_5888our airbnb was beautiful and perfect and i want to go back constantly.img_5895dinner overlooking the edinburgh castle with my cutie in the sunshine img_5920
we took a day trip to see some of scotland, and it was money well spent! here are some photos from our rainy trip up to the wallace monument! (which is relevant since christopher’s last name is wallace and they trace their heritage back to the original OG william wallace!)img_5932img_5940
driving through the smoglands was the most magical experience. i wish we could have stopped so i could have taken a proper photo, but here’s an idea of it: rocky, rising hills, and lush greens and streams. so gorgeous! img_5960
after a rainy morning, the sun came out as we walked through a little highland town named dunkeld!img_5985img_5994
also, dunkeld has great ice cream.img_6008img_6009
here is a view from our air bnb :) a view right over the old college!img_6016
a view of the sea from a high point in edinburgh!img_6017
we went to this awesome indian place that served dishes tapas style. our air bnb host recommended it! it was awesome!img_6019img_6024img_6025

then we headed back to london for our stay in brixton! headed to brixton village for a delicious dinner:img_6054img_6059georgia okeefe had an exhibit at the tate modern, which we of course went to! love an american woman’s work shown in another country! img_6060
the view from the tate:img_6061then we headed to the broadway market in the rain, but that didn’t stop the deliciousness:img_6081img_6088img_6090
the next day was our favorite day in britain – notting hill to meet one of my favorite friends, emma!!img_6104img_6108img_6119img_6128img_6137img_6148
(and we even got to meet emma’s wonderful boyfriend, sam! it was such a treat! especially since she wasn’t feeling well, but wandered around all day with us anyway <3 )img_6151
our final day in london we headed to the ritz carlton for a super fancy afternoon tea!!img_6163img_6165img_6167img_6169img_6180
also, a pretty photo from our final sleeping location:img_6197

of course, i took about a thousand photos, but these are some of my favorites. it was an amazing trip which was enlightening and also a wonderful time to reconnect with christopher – especially after his four months away this summer!

i hope everyone is well, and i’ll post more soon, i promise!


one year of marriage

27 Jun

one year ago today, christopher and i had our wedding and were married in nashville, tennessee! it was a magical week of festivities featuring our friends and family from all over the world. but, guess what else has been magical? being married to your best friend, of course.

i’ve immensely enjoyed this past year. i marvel at how easily he will fall asleep anywhere/on anything, i like getting to hear whatever he’s listening to while he showers (ranges from death metal to podcasts on world war II), i like his insistence of making me eggs in a basket for breakfast, his willingness to listen to my newest “platform” and help me hone my argument for a different audience, and our joint adoration of singing very loudly to songs we know by heart. i love him, and going home to him after a long day is an absolute pick me up (or him coming home to me – whoever gets back from work/med school first lol).

i spend a lot of time not weirdly bragging about our relationship, because it is so special and i want to share my joy with others – a testament that true love and effortless relationships exist, because i keep thinking “maybe this is just a honeymoon phase?” and i don’t want to have to take my words back as we age and face bigger challenges.

but this weekend, on our little celebratory weekend in san antonio, we discussed us. our relationship. and he said he thinks that many relationship problems come from power struggles and an inability to communicate with respect. when i’m upset, i tell him. i don’t wait around for him to guess what is going on with me. when i disagree with him, i tell him. we treat each other with love and respect. he values me and i value him. we’re a team! now that i’ve been married a whole year i feel like i’m able to give advice – and if there is any advice, this is it: treat each other as equals.



peaceful meadow farm // the new cale estate

11 Jun


a couple of weekends ago, i visited my parents at their new home for the very first time! they bought a home and 20+ acres out near staunton, virginia. we arrived at like 3 in the morning, so we weren’t able to see the beauty that is the appalachian mountains in western virginia. but, goodness, when we woke up and started walking around the property in our pajamas, i was in awe.


on the property there are four buildings: the home, a summer-home (which half of it’s walls are screen), a garage/workshop, and this little building called a “cold storage” building where my parents are currently storing wine lol. also – the property is called “peaceful meadow farm.”


here is the house! (and you can see the cold storage building on the left and back behind the cold storage building is the garage) it is beautiful and was handmade by the previous owner.


here is a photo i took of the house from one of the few places where i could get AT&T service haha. going to the house forces you to disconnect because you can’t get service and the satellite internet is expensive lol (my parents promptly switched to verizon when they moved out there)


the opposite side of the house where the fountain and porch area is!


if you walk up the hill on the land behind the house you’ll see a cow pasture!


this is just a photo of some eggs before mom made us breakfast lol


the living room is the most beautiful room of the house (in my opinion). the builder hand laid the wooden floors and built these stone walls and all of the light fixtures and doors are repurposed and it is the most unique, beautiful house i’ve seen. (also my ma <3)


riding in my mom’s convertible from one of the nearby vineyards!


our second night visiting we had a happy hour on the top corner of the property. you can see the garage down below, and to the right all of that land is my parent’s. it is farmed by a local farmer! they just harvested alfalfa.


and here is a photo of christopher being a cutie.

anyway, it’s beautiful and i cannot wait to go back!


the moment i knew

10 Jun

today my handsome husband is starting his BOLC (basic officer leadership course – basically army basic training for officers that is branch specific) before he graduates vanderbilt medical school in may. that way he can graduate and go straight to his residency without worrying about this army requirement. (go bun!)

anyway, talking with him about his BOLC has made me think back to my BOLC, which i attended four years ago. (!!!!! it seems like yesterday, still) besides all of the things that made BOLC so interesting and the memories/friends i gained, what i really have been thinking about was the moment i knew i would be leaving the army as soon as i could.

it was one of the first days of BOLC – the first few weeks are dedicated to common army tasks like qualifying on your weapon, and doing land navigation, and convoy operations (later you move in to branch specific thing) – and i’m not totally sure what the lesson was supposed to be about. maybe professional military ethics? something classroom based. well, the course was taught by the major in charge of all of SBOLC (i think there were three rotating classes at a time) and he posed to us a challenge: to describe ourselves with as many nouns as we wanted.

mine went something like this: “daughter, sister, girlfriend, friend, explorer” or something like that.

well, after our little brain storming session, and also after i complimented one of my classmates on his wedding band (and then was told to “focus on the task at hand” by the major instead of complimenting jewelry), the major stood in front of the classroom and asked to hear what we had come up with. it wasn’t interesting. but after he had heard enough, he said, “if you haven’t included ‘soldier’ on your list you shouldn’t be in the army.” i knew it was meant as a coming-to-jesus moment for people to understand the massive responsibility we were undertaking, but to me (even after four years of west point) it blatantly showed me that being a solider wasn’t part of my identity and i needed to leave.

either way, random major who i will never see again, you’ll be happy to know i’ve turned in my paperwork to be done with my service in may of 2017! woo!