a twenty two year old’s perspective on love

26 Dec

reading at the moment: “how to love” by dr. gordon livingston

full disclosure: i may delete all of this once i reach the end of this blog, but for now, i need a good write. 

i have been a hopeless romantic as long as anyone has ever known me. beginning with my first crush, moving on to the first time i held hands with someone “fingers laced,” and all the way up to my first kiss (who, by the way, i was convinced that i was going to marry), my life has been defined by the people in my life. most specifically, the person at that moment. when i was in eighth grade, and was about to move from germany back to america, i had a whole plan written out (yes, written – this was not just a mental plan), about how i would find the perfect (and my first) boyfriend by first visiting the local pacsun and second by sitting on our lawn playing guitar (in my perfect world suitors walk around the neighborhood often).

but, every time my perfect plans were dashed and shredded apart by the world’s largest paper shredder that is unrequited love. i, constantly giving my whole heart, and other person, taking until they’re over it, and then being over it! my little brother constantly pokes fun at me: elbowing me in the ribs when the priest at church speaks of broken hearts, or telling me i should enroll on christianmingle.com in order to find someone.

but i can’t help myself. i love love. i love every single little thing about love. i love the feelings i feel now that i am in love (please note, this blog is not be being angry on the state of the young adult’s relationship, i love my boyfriend with my whole heart – and he will not throw it in the world’s largest paper/heart shredder), i love valentines day, i love hearts, i love drawing hearts, i love looking at people in love, i cry every single time i watch “say yes to the dress.” i am a great candidate for love. and i bet everyone out there can say the same (however, maybe without the waterworks).

last year, i met dr. gordon livingston last year in one of my counseling courses back at school. and in his guest lecture he portrayed a message about love and relationships which i hadn’t completely thought of before. since this was a year ago, i went and bought the third of his books i’ve purchased, “how to love.” it essentially is a book which outlines the personalities people possess that which you should avoid and the personality traits that one should cherish and search for in their quest to find someone that is worthy of their heart. he states that you should become the person you long to love.

“if our pleasure and satisfaction in this life are connected to our closest relationships, what we really need to know is how to recognize those who are worthy of our trust and affection and how to steer clear of those who will ultimately disappoint us, waste our time, and break our hearts and spirits. of all the questions we ask ourselves in the course of discovering what another human being is really like, perhaps the most important is this: how do i feel about myself when i am with this person?”

so, all those readers who are out there eager and open to love, (as i know we all inherently are – for what is greater than having someone to share life with) next time you are with the person you think is “the one” do yourself a favor and reflect inwards on yourself. how do you feel when you are with him/her? do you feel like the best version of yourself? no one should settle, because you are too special to settle.





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